In her way of coping and coming to terms with her mistakes, Ayu threw herself into meditation and, well... Housework. There was... Nothing else for her to do, apparently. No. That was a lie but she needed to sort her thoughts first before doing anything. Nothing else was in a way, only the noise in her head. Everyone was busy doing something worthwhile, she wasn't needed and that was for the best. As long as there were no expectations she wouldn't be able to screw up anything. Right? It would be better if people stayed away, not trying to put any hope in Ayu because the only thing awaiting at the end of their day, was disappointment. Heh, that felt so strange when she heard her thoughts in the back of her head, yet it felt like it was true. A plain, simple, undeniable truth.

Maybe overworking wasn't as much of a coping but more of a distraction - still, it did it. It allowed her to do everything she needed without much thought. Having messed up lots of chambers in the Lookout on her mission to reach forbidden knowledge, it was now time to fix everything. That was the least she could do. Ayu was organizing old rooms and cleaning them, placing all the magical items she dug out back inside. And to think she was looking so desperately to free Liari from Hell, only to see her alive, spiting her... But she didn't need to know about this. No. With a bit of help, she restored the spells and did a major cleaning in all the libraries too. It wasn't uncommon those days to see her and Mr. Popo in pink aprons, moping the floor and dusting all the corners, nooks, and crannies. Major cleaning was done in no time. With tiles now sparkling and not a speck of dust remaining, Ayu couldn't deny that there was something else that she needed to learn.

Was it fate's black humor or a warning, that the moment she came to terms with that, she felt Liari blow up a major part of a faraway planet?

Dende softly, with a shaking voice explained that blue Majin made herself an enemy of a powerful and vicious race. Changelings. Despite them having a history with Earth and Bluebell, Ayu never saw someone from their race, though everything she heard and knew so far made her stomach drop. Times were changing. Decisions needed to be made and suddenly safety of the blue planet was partially resting on her shoulders. Never she did ask for that or aim to be one of the defenders but in this world, no one ever asked for her opinion. It wasn't even a matter of disliking violence, just the grey, icy gaze of reality, staring daggers at her fragile heart. It was what it was. And she had to deal with it in a way she despised the most.

Fighting. Ayu needed to learn how to fight. Not because she liked it, not because she wanted to try it out - it was a matter of necessity.

A decision that came too late. Pendulum Room was open to her and Ayu intended to make use of it. Mr. Popo introduced her to this chamber, full of clocks and unnerving, ticking noise... Explaining that the shades living there were present through every second of time itself. They could take on any form and any face, so Ayu could be fighting enemies she never thought she would - or seeing a familiar person trying to kill her. Training. Fighting. Killing. Even if deep down, she loathed that it came to that - no one would bother asking about what she wanted to do - but what she needed to take care of. No enemies would ask if she'd fancy to fight. No threat would turn away simply after being asked, begged, or reasoned with. No ally would accept that she refused to fight because she despised violence. In the end, this world was ruled by fist and might. By the rule of the strong that devoured the weak. And even when her energy was significant and special, her mind and resolve seemed to be too frail to make a change. All that just... Showed her how small she was when the cogs of fate were turning.

When she finally went inside the Pendulum Room, she was transported into a dark place, a swamp-like environment, thick with vegetation and a stench of decay. The forest was breaming with crooked trees, and the grass was tall and deceiving, full of shades and reflected lights. That place and that particular night. Silhouettes that emerged from shadows were of those Ayu painfully remembered - humans and androids of Red Ribbon. All were people she killed and in such a cruel way too. Their bodies burst with plants, roots breaking their machinery and bones from inside. Like that time, so long ago it felt like a different life, they came to capture her alive because her grandfather ordered her to. But Ayu wanted to stay with her family, to keep Liari and Calot alive, that's why... That's why something there snapped, her Ki ran amock and she couldn't stop it. Just like back then, she fought with everything she had - staying in control this time. Or doing her best to be in control. Creating vines and trapping them with mighty roots, slashing, hitting. For the first time in her life, she was trying to kick, punch, push, even scratch in the moment of desperation... It was so painfully obvious that she wasn't a fighter by any means, the guilt was burning her from inside like acid. She couldn't even throw a proper punch, let alone take a decent stance, so how was she going to... All the training she did when she learned to manipulate her energy and dodge wasn't enough. She wasn't enough and maybe she never will at this rate. She just wasn't what Earth needed right now... So why bother?

With a heavy mind and heavier heart, she left Pendulum Room bruised, scratched, bloodied, and exhausted. Night by night, day by day, whenever she could she would go back there. Ayu wasn't going to abandon her training, no. It was shame and a sense of foreboding that she needed to work through first. Especially since something ominous was growing on the other side of the universe... She felt it in her bones. Was Liari and Terra safe? Would Callion look after himself out there? She wished she could see them again but that was a pathetic wish. Here, by her side or out there in the universe, she wouldn't be able to aid them anyway. It would make no difference... It wasn't like her to grow bitter, yet this feeling already made its way inside her heart, nesting inside like a rotting part. Ayu felt a shard of darkness inside her and she knew that she'd have to make peace with it at one point - but she didn't know how.

Maybe she wasn't good with lying and was too honest for her own good at times, but Ayu buried that sensation deep within her soul.

This night was already harsh. The faces she saw in Pendulum Room, the voices she heard... It was hard to look in the mirror, at her pale face after she got out. After a quick bath, with fresh bandages on her injuries, a nightgown, and a pair of ridiculously fluffy slippers, Ayu sat on her bed. Drying wet hair, she caught herself looking out the window, at the dark sky and realized one thing - that it was going to be a sleepless night, once again. She was feeling this familiar cold and lonely sensation in her stomach, tickling the back of her skull with a whisper she knew too well. Lonely. Ayu was lonely. Her gaze dropped to her hands, looking at the half-wet towel she was using. It was no use feeling sorry for herself, it wouldn't help with anything. If anything, it would make things worse.

She has developed quite an annoying habit. A bit embarrassing to be honest, it was something she wouldn't mind admitting, just... It was silly, it was childish. Why? Because it was hard for her to sleep when she was alone. Nightmares weren't the cause, they appeared rarely hunting her mind. Laying awake in silence was making her uneasy - a reason good as any, right? Darkness wasn't her friend either. The peace, the quiet, and the stillness were simply too overwhelming and shades could give her the chills. Instead of comfort, the calmness was now unsettling in this ridiculous way. When she was younger night always crept in when she was the only living soul in the old home, Zhang away at work as usual. Anxiously, with shy hope, little Ayu was listening to the silence, waiting for the sound of an approaching car and the clink of the key opening their front door. Waiting, she'd fall asleep, only to wake up in an empty house again. And yet, later, it wasn't that lonely anymore. Softly drifting to sleep every night after reading Terra bedtime stories, with Liari stretched next to them on the nest full of pillows and blankets... Ayu loved listening to their quiet, peaceful breathing, sensing their presence, cuddling with her family, and feeling their welcoming warmth. Those were the most blessed moments she was going to cherish forever.

Even after she moved to the Lookout, the loneliness wasn't that hard to bear. That was what she used to tell herself, at least. With Cress, Celric, and Terra, there was no time for that, she was always busy. It doesn't matter how late she was reading or meditating, someone would pull her sleeve asking to be tucked in or sneak into her room with a fairytale book. When she couldn't sleep for whatever reason, Ayu would often find herself sitting by the kitchen table, sharing a cup of tea with Mr. Popo, or watching the night sky with Dende. She couldn't admire and appreciate their presence more. Though... With the latest events, her thoughts were often drifting towards different matters. The sheer amount of things on her mind, worries, and responsibilities digging at her self-doubt made her slowly step back from the lights. It's been weeks, maybe even months since she left the Lookout. She was hiding. Was it guilt keeping her trapped here, or was it fear?

Was it possible to feel so lonely, even when surrounded by people she cared about? Liari wasn't here but even if she would, she'd turn around and leave right away. Terra was with her mother - was it selfish to wonder if she missed her Auntie, even a little? Callion was still training somewhere there in the vast universe, and frankly, Ayu wouldn't dare bother him with something so silly. Dende and Mr. Popo talked often in hushed voices about the situation being even direr than they thought, so she felt like she would intrude if she asked about anything. And kids... Kids were being kids, training, fighting, growing up, and having their own worries and hopes on top of what was happening around them. And yet, she felt so down right now that she couldn't help but think about something that could cheer her up - even a little. Even for a while. Or maybe, as simple as that, Ayu didn't want to be alone with her thoughts tonight.

With a ball of energy, not bigger than a marble, lighting up her way Ayu left her chamber. The corridors of the Lookout at night were always so peaceful. Walking softly towards the room the siblings shared, she listened to their voices, and of course - they weren't yet sleeping. They tended to stay up longer, whispering and playing. It was past their bedtime, what else she was supposed to say? Scold them, perhaps? But that wasn't like her... Cress was giggling and she picked Celric's voice talking about something with great excitement. Ayu didn't even feel the warm smile that appeared on her face when she knocked on their door and walked in. The kids rushed to their beds as fast as they could, leaving only the swishing sound and rustle of their quilts and blankets. Pretending to sleep now, huh? They forgot that Ayu had a good hearing and keen intuition - and that they absolutely weren't able to lie to her. She knew everything right away.

"I can tell that you're not sleeping," she told them gently, raising her hand with a ball made of Ki. Pale golden light lit the room. Only silence answered her but she could swear that she saw Celric's tail twitch a little. Another smile curled the corner of her lips. "Oh. I think I was mistaken. A shame..." Slowly closing the door, she added. "I wanted to make us some hot cocoa, but now I will have to drink it all by myself..."

"No-no, we're up!" As soon as she said those words Celric materialized in front of her, leaving his bed so fast it looked like he teleported.

"Hey..." Cress mumbled from her side of the room, getting out of her bed and putting on her slippers. "You rat us out!" She glared at her brother, though it didn't stop her from walking up to Ayu and taking her hand, ready to go with her to the kitchen to snatch a cup of promised hot cocoa.

"Ah, who cares?" Young Saiyan rolled his eyes and glanced at Ayu. She didn't seem to mind that, so...

"Normally, I would ask you to go right back to sleep," she admitted, closing the door and leaving the room with them. "Though tonight I'll let it slide," she chuckled softly. Her hand affectionately stroked the black hair of the siblings. Thick, spikey, impossible to style, oh, she tried many times but always failed. It was their wild charm that they had eternal bed hair. Cute in its own way.

"Why? Was it because I behaved well today?" Cress perked up, bouncing as they walked. "If so, Celric should get nothing, he tried to hide another beetle in Mr. Popo's turban!"

"You little-" The brother gave her a clear older-sibling-style side-eye and was ready to stick out his tongue, but Ayu interrupted them.

"Sshh..." Placing her finger on her lips she hushed them. "It's late, so please keep it quiet. Dende and Mr. Popo surely are sleeping by now. We're going to the kitchen now and then we're going right back to your room, alright? Quietly."

They nodded in agreement, though Ayu needed to pretend that she didn't see all the glares and rolling eyes that were exchanged between the duo. Was having siblings always this chaotic? ... Huh. A silhouette of Liari appeared in her mind before it faded away. Yeah, it was. She couldn't help but smile a little with melancholy, her gaze softening, as they reached their goal and walked inside the kitchen.

The kitchen... Surprisingly, the Lookout had quite the place. As Namekian, Dende didn't need any sustenance in the form of food but he enjoyed a cup of tea - and occasional pastry - from time to time. Ayu never saw Mr. Popo eating as often as other humans, and knowing that he wasn't one, it wasn't that surprising. Either way, for them kitchen of this caliber wasn't needed but it didn't change the fact that this place was enormous. In this room, two of Ayu's old houses could fit inside and it wasn't an exaggeration. With a pantry enough to feed a couple of Saiyans and a gigantic fridge, she was glad they had enough food for everyone. Especially since both Celric and Cress had famous Saiyan appetites with their growth spurt on top. They needed lots of hearty meals and thank goodness for Mr. Popo's help, her Chlorokinesis, and magic, otherwise, Ayu would never have been able to keep up with cooking their share. Other than that, calling everyone on breakfast was her favorite part of the day. This kitchen wasn't as small and as cozy as her old, tiny, and worn-out one, but she still felt comfortable in this place. Knowing where everything was told her that she lived her already long enough to get familiar with the Lookout...

Preparing three mugs - blue, green, and red one, Ayu almost caught herself adding another one. The pink cup had to wait for Terra. Out of habit, she was ready to make hot cocoa for four people... With a little, heavy sigh, she put the last mug back into the cupboard, taking out milk from the fridge and pouring it into the pot. Terra would love late-night hot cocoa with marshmallows on top. Hearing how Celric and Cress were rocking on kitchen chairs, talking in whispers, and giggling from time to time, her heart felt lighter. They both were here, they were healthy and doing just fine - what else she could ask for? But... Wasn't hoping for their presence selfish? Dende once mentioned something about Guardians making attachments to other people. That it wasn't always a good thing. Shaking her head, she hushed that thought. That could wait for tomorrow, tonight she wanted to rest her inner demons. In no time Ayu prepared a batch of hot cocoa, topping it with a handful of mini marshmallows for little Saiyans. Herself, she found it too sweet so regular cocoa was just fine.

"Now, you have to promise me," Ayu stood in front of the kids with their mugs in her hands. Their dark eyes were sparkling at the sight of a generous helping of hot, comforting, and oh-so-sweet drink. "After finishing this, you both are going to brush your teeth again. Right?" Tilting her head she asked, waiting for their response. No one was getting cavities, not on her watch. Though she could easily heal them, she wanted them to develop healthy habits - and brushing their teeth was just that. Seriously, when did she start to act like such a mum..? Ayu always thought of herself as more of an older sister figure if anything, maybe Auntie as Terra saw her, though now she wasn't so sure anymore. She couldn't deny that kids were dear to her.

"We promise!" Cress and Celric solemnly and in full synchronicity swore what she asked them to and took away their mugs. Blowing at the hot cocoa, they took their first sips and Ayu smiled, pleased.

"Let's go back. Please be careful not to spill anything," taking her cup of hot cocoa, she lit up a marble-like ball of energy to make their way easier. "And no balancing cup on your tail Celric," she added without turning back.

Three steps behind her Celric was already trying to place a blue mug with steaming content on the tip of his tail. Hearing her words he flinched and grumbled, taking cocoa back into his hands. Cress, holding onto Ayu's elbow, flashed her tongue at him which made him hasten his pace. They tried to piss each other off in silence, but before things could turn more heated, they reached their room.

This type of silence was comforting. It wasn't a lack of sound, it was a lack of noise - only quiet steps, rustling of the blankets, and occasional slurping.

Inside, Ayu sat on the pillow thrown onto the carpet between two beds, sipping hot cocoa. Mildly sweet, rich, milky, and comforting taste... Of course, the portions she made for siblings were sweeter but she was scarce with sugar at this hour. Some herbs were sweet enough to appeal to their tastebuds and with some preparation, they wouldn't even know. They surely didn't suspect a thing. She saw them sitting next to her, drinking down hot cocoa with wide smiles, grinning at each other when melted marshmallows gave them fluffy mustaches. This cold sensation on the back of her head was slowly melting away in this warmth. Happily, Cress pulled blankets at them and Celric gathered other pillows and one thing led to another - suddenly they were all lying on the carpet, tucked together in the middle of the room. Three empty mugs were placed on a nightstand, teeth were properly brushed, and Ayu created tiny spheres of energy, shining akin to stars at the ceiling above them. Their giggles and whispers went quiet, as three pairs of eyes were looking at sparkles, twinkling and rotating silently in the darkness of the room.

Cress cuddled with her, hugging Ayu by the waist and nuzzling her cheek against her shoulder. She murmured with a smile that Ayu's hair was tickling her, long, wild, and unbraided, like a curtain made of leaves. Smiling back woman embraced her with her arm, pulling her closer in a warm hug. Celric wasn't the affectionate type, simply lying next to Ayu close but not close enough, staying a couple of inches away so no one would say that he wanted a hug. He was going to be a great warrior, who did not need cuddles! However, she knew that the more sleepy he would get, the closer he was to resting his forehead against her arm... Though she was not going to say that out loud. Otherwise, he'd start pouting and most likely he would end up on his bed, with his back turned to her and Cress. Boys, right? As if a bit of love and fondness would make him weaker... Maybe it was a Saiyan thing? Though looking at Cress, she wasn't so sure.

It was pleasant to hear them settle so quietly and comfortably with her. The pillow and blanket nest was warm and Ayu didn't mind at all sleeping with them on the carpet. Yet, the sleepiness wasn't weighting on their eyelids, instead, she was aware that each of them was looking at the ceiling and the stars, their thoughts drifting. Maybe this night wasn't going to be so short, huh... It seemed that not only she had a lot of things on her mind.

Celric was the first one to voice his reflections.

"Dende told me a story about great Earth warriors. From time looong ago. He said," he pointed to the ceiling, "- that people used to make them immortal by naming star constellations after them." His fingers moved in the air, tracing tiny bits of energy above, trying to make out shapes and forms of the scattered shiny stars. It lasted a moment, and then his hand dropped onto the blanket and Celric frowned. "What I would need to do, to be a great warrior?" He asked thoughtfully, not a sign of his usual boldness in sight - just a genuine wonder.

"You want to have stars named after you?" Cress snorted a little but Ayu hushed her softly. Celric rolled his eyes and put his hands behind his head, quietly gazing above.

"I'm not so sure. Merits of the warrior are different in other people's eyes," Ayu replied in a soft tone. Maybe heroism for a Saiyan would be strictly about strength, battles, and conquering other planets... While humans thought favorably about those who protected them and fought for peace. "Some would say, that warrior's greatest virtue is strength. Others say it's bravery, while someone else could tell you it's about compassion. Heroes save lives, they fight dangerous enemies and have adventures - but everything has a risk."

He was pondering about what she said for a while. Being a hero... Was admirable. And burdening - Ayu heard that during the fight in South City, she was being recorded and her face was displayed in the broadcast around the world. The thought of being seen by millions of people and treated as a hero when she didn't deserve it was making her feel like a piece of butter on a piping hot pan. What about those who were actually doing something to help... Opherla, Serena, Callion, Quash, and the unnamed Saiyan who was fighting for innocent people. Maybe she did create a bridge to help the citizens leave dangerous areas, and yet... She didn't have the heart to take so much credit. It just felt wrong - all she did was grow a couple of plants and cry.

Huh, Ayu realized something while stroking her forehead. She really has been putting herself down lately, hasn't she?

"Can a Saiyan even be a hero of Earth? It's not like I'm an Earthling..." Celric murmured with a voice somewhere between a pretentious and concerned tone. "And I don't think we're that liked either."

"I like you two," Ayu replied right away with a smile. Saiyans were treated with caution, that was true... But she genuinely loved those two. Cress giggled when she said that and Celric rolled his eyes again, though maybe a faint blush appeared and faded away in an instant from his face. "And you know..." she spoke up again. "Back then, in South City, you saved the life of this child you found under fallen buildings. I know, because I remember it clearly." She didn't approve but Celric sneaked out to help in the middle of the fight. There was no way to stop him but his need to do something was so great, he aided her in looking for survivors and escorted them to the bridge she made. He got a lecture out of it, sure... But she could already tell it wouldn't stop him from acting again. "Maybe you're not yet a great warrior and the hero of Earth, but I am sure in that child's eyes, you are his Hero." Ayu stroked Celric's head. "An amazing warrior who saved him."

There was a moment of silence before she saw something like a shrug next to her.

"... I guess," the boy mumbled, yet his tone sounded softer and somewhat pleased. She couldn't see his face from where she was lying, but she knew he was smiling.

Warriors, huh? It was a bit ironic that almost everyone around Ayu wanted to fight, to be strong, and to be a warrior. Not like there was anything bad with that... Being weak was a curse on its own. And yet, she wasn't alone in preferring books and magic, Cress for example loved looking through the library and learning about Earth's fauna and flora. Having Saiyan blood in her, training proved to be a breeze for the little girl, but Ayu took some comfort in knowing she had different priorities. She never spoke about it out loud but she was concerned that she wouldn't be able to give them what they needed. The only thing she could do for them was to teach them the basics, make sure they knew how to read and count, and how to live on Earth. Fighting... Let's say, she wasn't the right teacher and she wouldn't even dare try taking them to Pendulum Room with her. No, Mr. Popo was helping them out, though when it came to serious training, Callion was covering that before he left for his journey.

She'd love to ask him to train them more when he's back. And maybe tell Terra too, she would gladly visit them - it... It sounded like she was never going to live with her Auntie again. With fewer people here, on the Lookout, this place was feeling emptier. She didn't stumble onto Callion meditating around or for quite some time now Ayu hasn't seen any colorful scribbles made by her niece on the temple walls. Things were quieter but it didn't mean that was a good thing. People could leave a surprisingly big hole when they weren't near anymore...

"I wish there were more people around," Ayu almost got startled when Cress suddenly spoke, telling exactly what she had on her mind a second ago. On her face was a confident grimace when she pouted her lips. "I don't like playing only with Celric, I wish there were more kids," she said, making Ayu smile apologetically when she cuddled her closer. That wasn't a thing she could solve so easily on her own... She couldn't ask anyone to come and stay. "I like Dende, he's so nice, and Mr. Popo always comes up with fun games... But maybe we could go to Earth's school?" Cress glanced at Ayu with sparkling eyes, though she had a scary vision of Saiyan children causing mayhem among Earthling students during a typical physical education lesson. That... Would need a serious meditating session. "Or we could invite more Saiyans here? Please? I'm sure there are a lot of them on Earth! Oh, maybe they even heard about Nova!"

"Dear, I-I'm not sure I know that many of your kind..." Ayu rubbed her cheek in a bit of abashment. She didn't know much about the two siblings' past, the only thing that stood out the most was that they were living with a crew of mercenaries, traveling from place to place until they stayed on Earth. When they met their doom. But Saiyans... Callion was away and she knew that the warrior who fought Liari was staying near Mount Paozu, in a peaceful village that she dared not disturb with her presence. Where Zerori was or Zaks, Ayu had no idea. Seems they needed more interaction with those sharing their blood.

"I don't think Saiyans care that much about their children or children at all," hearing that sudden, mature replay falling from Celric's mouth, made Ayu's heart tight and painful. "We're not that strong. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here." He shrugged and she had to stop the urge to pull him closer for a hug.

"Hey!" Cress lifted her head and glared at him from above Ayu's shoulder and after a bit of grumbling she poked out her tongue.

"What? It's true and you're acting like a brat about it. Who knows where our parents are," Celric replied with a harsher tone and poked his forehead, indicating that his sister was being silly with her pouting. "Saiyans visited Earth before but none of them cared enough about some random kids without parents. Even when Nova was gone and we got back, only Zerori and Ayu were looking for us."

That... That was true. Mostly because when the kids, mysteriously, were brought back to life, the other crew members were not. Ayu remembered meeting one person who buried siblings, though who exactly was that, her memories failed her. After they left, she and Zerori would visit the graves from time to time, until that one fateful day when they found ground dug up from inside. Not so far from that place, they met Celric and Cress, dirty, scratched, hungry - but very much alive and well. And alone - the other members of Crimson Nova did not make it from the afterlife and she didn't know why...

Anyway, Ayu wasn't that familiar with Saiyan culture and the way their kids were raised - though the fact that the duo was living with a crew of mercenaries proved a different thing.

"... Do you know where your parents could be?" She asked gently, slowly stroking Cress's head. Dende, Mr. Popo, and she were brainstorming about the possibility of reuniting the children with their family but they had no clue in that regard. It looked like those two were completely on their own.

"Mum was on Vegeta, I think," the boy scratched his head before covering a yawn. "I don't know what she's doing right now or if she's even alive. And we don't have a dad."

"Ugh, our real mum doesn't care," Cress murmured in frustration, before tossing to the side and finally laying still with her head on Ayu's chest. "That's why we need a new one to marr-" her muffled voice abruptly stopped, like a spinning record that stopped working. Ayu didn't exactly catch what she was saying to herself, but she met her confused gaze. "I don't know..." Cress looked lost for a second, without another word cuddling with her and closing her eyes. As much as she wished to know more to help them somehow, prying too much seemed to be out of the question. Warmly stroking her back, she let her rest and turned her head toward the boy, lying quietly on the other side.

"Celric, if it's alright with you... Could you tell me more about why you were living on Earth?" Ayu asked him softly, trying to not sound demanding. Never before had she tried to push and question any of them, not wanting to open old wounds. However, it seemed that unaddressed memories could weigh on their minds as heavy as a broken heart.

"We left Vegeta because... Life wasn't good there for us," the sentence seemed too mature in the child's mouth again, but Ayu was listening quietly. Celric scratched his cheek with a frown, recollecting his memories. The phrase - life wasn't good there for us - sounded like something they must have heard quite often. "That's what they said but that was long ago, I think. And our mum never went to take us back after we left so of course she doesn't care." He shrugged again. Maybe Ayu shouldn't be so soft with Saiyan children, who obviously were much more hardy than other races, still... He was only a kid. She couldn't even try to care less, she wasn't able to. Reaching out her hand, she started stroking his head lightly, her fingers softly brushing wild hair. "And then everyone from Crimson Nova was killed and we were the only ones left." Celric finished, his eyes focused on the stars above.

Tiny, glimmering drops of energy were dancing slowly, leaving speckles of light everywhere in the dark room.

"Why they weren't brought back? They were our family too." Cress asked, a hint of sadness was obvious in her voice.

"I don't know Sweetie. We don't even know why you two were brought back but I am glad you did..." she smiled softly, lightly and repeatedly poking Cress's cheek until she saw a smile appearing on her face. Her yellow eyes softened. "I know that feeling, a little," Ayu looked up, at the ceiling, thinking back about all the lonely nights she spent at her old home. "I never knew my parents. Did they die or leave me behind on purpose, maybe I will never know. But sometimes, despite not even remembering their faces or their names, I know that I miss them," she closed her eyes, her voice softening to a whisper. "And that's alright." In the quiet, she could feel her heart gently beating, the demons quietly put to rest. She was able to sense the energy of children, bright and vivid, like little, tranquil yet powerful gems. The shared warmth and their company made her feel at ease. "I miss those with whom I don't share blood too. Those who are my family by choice but are away for their own reasons. I wish them the best, wherever they are..." Ayu could feel a pensive smile faintly curling her lips. "I know that someone, somewhere, alive or not, is wishing for the happiness of you two. And I do too."

She did. Wholeheartedly and genuinely. By the twist of events, Ayu took care of three children, bringing them along with her to the Lookout. And although she knew that she could be... Dangerous to them, if she would ever lose her control, there was no different place for them to stay. Maybe Terra was better off away, after all, she would hate to let her niece see her in that state. To be fair, Ayu wouldn't like anyone being near her to witness how badly she could snap, making the vegetation go wild and bloodthirsty... Though she had her duties. And she was going to attend to them. She decided to take care of Celric and Cress so their well-being was a priority, and she was trying her best - even if sometimes Ayu wasn't even sure what she was supposed to do.

Taking care of herself wasn't a thing she was exceptionally good at but she wasn't going to stop looking after those children. That thought was like an anchor. She had to... And yet, the thorn in her heart was trying to overwhelm her mind with whispers, stirring self-doubt inside again. That, maybe... Maybe those two would be better off without her. What if, with time, Ayu would disappoint them too? What if all that love, care, and every soft and warm feeling she had towards them would turn into a shackle? What if in the future they would detest her too, just like Liari does, on account of failed hopes and expectations? What if... What if she was going to be a burden to them too?

She could feel her eyes warm up and water, reflecting lights from the shining ceiling above.

"I miss Crimson Nove and I miss Zerori. I miss Terra too," Ayu heard the quiet voice of Cress, who spoke up in the silence, softly nuzzling her cheek against her shoulder. Of course, she did. They were great friends, coloring together, reading and playing, and now she was gone...

"Me too," she admitted, wiping tears from her yellow eyes before they even had a chance to appear.

In this moment of somber longing, missing a friend and a family member, a voice rang way too hard and harsh... Offended even.

"Well, I don't!" Celric growled, turning to the side and showing his back to them, his tail puffed and twitching with annoyance. He grumbled under his nose, pulling a pillow closer, letting everyone know that he didn't like whatever they were talking about before. His sister, confused, raised her eyebrows, ready to comment on his behavior - but Ayu hushed her gently, pulling her head back onto her shoulder. Placing her finger on her mouth, she suggested staying quiet for now... No more comments or teasing, at least for a while. She turned her head around, looking at the small silhouette in the dark. Energy spiked for a short while, angry, irritated, and... Sad. Ayu could already tell why. Celric wasn't simply pouting. He was feeling hurt and betrayed by something - someone - that didn't have any power over the past. No one ever does, yet people do tend to be cautious... Or overzealous.

And it didn't help that he overheard Dende and Mr. Popo talking about connections between Liari, Terra, and Ayu.

"What Liari did is in no way Terra's fault, you know that, right?" Ayu spoke softly in a warm tone as usual, yet her reply now was also firmer than before. "Why you're mad at your friend when you know she had no say in this?" Because of course, she had none. Ayu wasn't even sure Terra knew anything - did Bluebell tell her about her death and revival, about what was happening on Earth while she was away... That was between the two of them. Yet, the destruction that Liari left in her path wasn't connected to Terra at all, this little pink girl wanted nothing more than to be a hero, save lives, and happily eat snacks with her friends. No one should blame her for the decision of someone else, even when they shared blood. It just wasn't fair.

Celric only grumbled in response, not convinced by her words.

There was no way she could blame him either for his reaction. Celric was there too, out there in South City. She didn't agree to it, not that she let him help - he simply sneaked out, hid his energy to be untrackable, and decided to rescue civilians. In a way, she was proud - but she was so worried about his safety too... And all the things he has witnessed were probably burned in his mind too. The scale of destruction that rocked the island, buildings turned to dust, and countless lives dying... Dying as quickly and effortlessly as blowing out a candle, the significance of life seemed so frail back then. Liari did it, her beloved, younger sister turned into a monster guided by her bloodlust and eagerness to fight. The need for battle was so strong it made her, in the eyes of so many, a monster. Everything happened so far when she fought against the warriors trying their best to defend South City, to protect Earth from her... In the mind of a child, even a Saiyan one, Liari was the worst enemy so far he has witnessed. There was no doubt about it. And yet, Terra wasn't her clone nor she wasn't aiming to follow in her mother's footsteps - for now - so there was no point or logical reason to blame her. But... Emotions and grudges do not need to be reasonable to feel them.

The only thing she could do was to try to resolve them and lessen the anger and pain festering inside.

"Do you think she should be held responsible for what her mum did?" Ayu asked half-seriously and half-rhetorically. Turning her head upright, she blinked, looking at the ceiling. A deep sigh raised her chest. "Just because they are related..? It's like you'd be punished for something Cress did - only because you're her brother - don't you think it's unfair?" She asked, stroking Cress's hair while the girl nodded, her black eyes staring at the back of her brother. Perhaps he felt the daggers because with a grunt he turned towards them, sitting with his legs crossed on the pillow. His face had an unhappy scowl as he glared back at them, a nine-year-old boy with long, messy hair and a wrinkled shirt.

"But you saw that place!" He addressed Ayu, looking at her with all the seriousness he had. "You saw what she did, you were there too!"

"I know. And we all know that Liari died back then... She paid consequences for her actions already and that has nothing to do with Terra." Stretching her arm Ayu tried reaching Celric's face, stroking his cheek but he lightly pushed her hand away and turned around. She could feel him getting more annoyed and Cress started pouting but she placed her arm back onto the blanket. She might have a lot of affection towards them but if they didn't want to receive it, she wasn't going to force anybody. Though, the way Celric's way of thinking was going, it could go be dangerous in the future. Nursing grudges like that could lead to him spreading this anger over other, uninvolved people, ending with spite and hate. "... So what do you suggest we do?" She asked calmly. Celric glanced at Ayu with a grimace, Cress tilted her head in anticipation. And it was her next shocking words that made both siblings jump in place. "Do you want to kill Terra?"

"What are you saying?!" Cress lifted herself and sat by Ayu's side, looking at her with horror and disbelief. She started shaking her arm as if she was trying to snap her out of any state that made her guardian say such a ridiculously worrying thing.

"What?! No- I mean..." by the way he hesitated, Ayu could tell that Celric wasn't thinking about a measure this drastic. He was looking for justice and consolation in his own way, not fully knowing what he wanted to find. He was still a kid, after all. The concern on his face was genuine and the thought of killing his innocent friend wasn't a line he wanted to cross... She wanted him to realize as much.

Sitting on their nest made of blankets, Ayu pulled the two of them towards her, holding them in her arms. Closing Celric and Cress in a warm embrace, she nuzzled her cheek against their heads. Children. Beloved children who will have to grow up, make mistakes, learn many lessons, and mature... But everything takes time. Her heart was happy when she thought about those kids. Innocent enough to get angry for someone else's sake... Yet adequately inexperienced to not know where to aim their conflicted emotions.

"I wouldn't let you do that anyway," she said softly, wrapping the three of them in one blanket. "And I know you don't want to harm her either." Stroking his hair, she took a deep breath. "Terra didn't do anything. Please Celric, don't judge a child by their parent's sins. We do not always choose family and even when we do, people change and they do things we do not approve of." She knew that well. Very well and still, her feelings weren't changing so easily. Be it foolishness or proof of their bond, she didn't know at this point. Maybe Ayu herself didn't know more than those two kids sitting in her embrace. "You have every right to be mad at Liari for what she did - but take a moment to think if those emotions are justified when it comes to Terra."

"Well, maybe they are not..." a whisper, or more likely, grumble she heard made Ayu smile a little. Celric's tone wasn't so hurt and angry anymore yet she couldn't deny that he was still irked by something. Though the tension she felt was melting away and Cress leaned over toward her brother, poking his side with a grin.

"Thank you, Celric, for understanding," she lightly kissed the top of his head, making him shiver and rub his hair while leaning away from her. Ayu chuckled while he did so, and Cress rolled her eyes.

"Finally!" She said, grinning. "You were being stubborn as a mule. Terra is our friend. Do you think it would make sense to be angry with her over things she didn't? Huh? Huh?!" The girl started poking his side strongly, and eventually pokes turned into tickles and suddenly Ayu found herself struggling to keep those two in her arms. Trying to hold down Saiyan siblings waging a tickle war against each other was simply impossible, so she let them be, chuckling at their giggles.

The tension was leaving them as they fought, rolling around the pillows, and finally, Ayu decided that it was enough. She pulled the blankets underneath them, putting them over the kids, covering them from head to toe. When they were nice and covered she basically threw herself between them, creating another wave of giggling. After a bit of snuggling, they poked their heads out of the covers, with hair even messier than before. Ayu couldn't help but chuckle. The three of them soon ended up as they did before, with Cress hugging her tightly and Celric lying on the other side, this time one inch closer.

If only everything else could be resolved that simply.

After a while, hastened breaths calmed down, and beating hearts became steady. A comforting silence spread all over the room, like a soothing lullaby after a difficult day. Ayu could feel how Cress's heated cheeks were turning back to normal, her head resting perfectly comfortably on her shoulder. It seemed that the weight from all the minds present here was taken away, and the children were going to sleep. With a loving smile, Ayu closed her eyes, listening to them softly breathing. It didn't take long for Celric's head to tilt to the side, forehead and messy, spikey bangs tickling Ayu's elbow. She pulled blankets over his shoulder, tucking him in. Cress's even breathing told her, that she was already dreaming about something, hopefully about something pleasant.

She wished them sweet dreams. They were great kids, smart, brave, considerate too. Although she never wished for their past to be so hard and conflicted, she hoped that their future would be brighter. And if not, she prayed that they would be strong enough to make it themselves - they already had the resolve to do so.

Cress was a sassy, honest little girl, who didn't sit still when she heard something she didn't like. When they first met in a bamboo forest, Ayu thought that she was way more confident than she ever could. With all the curiosity she had and a keen mind, she loved learning. In a way, Cress disliked brutal fights but she enjoyed sparring and definitely excelled in training. It was in her blood. Her straightforwardness was charming and since their meeting, she always seemed to know what she wanted. Something some adults can never define. Although at times she wanted to pass as more mature than she was, she was smart and a good child. A one with great determination.

Her brother was more like a Saiyan in that regard, lively, energetic, bold. Sometimes too bold, to the point of recklessness. Fascinated by animals of Earth, mostly bugs, he kept collecting them - to pull pranks on others. Ayu wondered where he takes all that enthusiasm and cheeky attitude from... A born fighter who trained on his own when he thought no one was looking. Celric had a sense of pride and justice within him, one which was going to get stronger with time. Maybe once in a while, he was too stubborn for his own good, though his heart was in the right place... He had a great resolve to act and fight at this age. He surely will grow up to be a warrior and a hero, just as he hopes.

... Why would anyone think about abandoning children like them?

Maybe she didn't know enough. Ayu could simply lack information from their past, about their burdens, she couldn't just make a clear judgment like that... However, those children needed their guardians. Leaving them this way might have caused them more harm than good. The memory of being left behind, even if they couldn't picture a face, would linger somewhere inside. She knew that from experience - though those siblings have already proven to be more resistant than her. Maybe Ayu was worrying for nothing. Yeah, she wished that was the case.

"Ayu..." a sleepy, soft voice near her ear made her blink. Cress spoke her name with a silent question weaved between the letters.

"Yes, Dear?" She replied with a whisper, lovingly stroking her cheek. "I thought you were already asleep." She felt Cress's hair brush against her shoulder when she gently shook her head. "What is it, Sweetie?" pulling the blanket closer, she tucked her in.

"Do you think... Someone will come for us?" The silent tone she heard made Ayu's stomach drop. The question was one she didn't have the answer for even if she prayed she did. "Terra's mum came to take her with her." That was the longing speaking. Ayu knew that. Maybe she was their guardian, but she was never going to be their real older sister, auntie, or mother. She couldn't make that connection. She wasn't enough. After all, when they first met Cress made it clear that she already picked Zerori to be her mum, though with how busy she was lately, she hadn't got time to visit them in the temple. They missed her, Ayu could tell. How she wished she could lessen this uneasiness... But it wasn't about her.

"You don't like being here with me..?" Ayu smiled, not being able to hide the faint sadness in her voice. Of course, they would prefer someone else than her. She was only a stranger that picked them up in the middle of the forest... But surprisingly, Cress shook her head again.

"No, we love you," a muffled, sleepy, yet honest voice made her heart skip a beat with tenderness. It was something... Very touching to hear, something she hadn't heard in a long while. "But Majin Liari isn't a good person but she loves her daughter too, right?" Cress started explaining, her voice hushed and faint as half of her face was buried in her chest. "If our mum or dad or anyone would be like that, they would come for us. Even if they are bad." She had a point... In her eyes, the threat to the planet was caring for her child while she and Celric were still here, stuck in the Lookout with strangers.

"Maybe they are on their way?" Ayu asked, trying her best to comfort Cress. "We don't know if they are or not. Celric said that they don't care, but how can we be so sure?" With a faint smile, she drew a line with her finger, making the same path on the ceiling, between the tiny stars. A shining streak among the particles of light. "Perhaps they are looking for you two as we speak? Or they are on their way here from the other side of the universe, that's why they are taking so long." But what if it wasn't the truth? Ayu wanted to lift Cress's spirit, not lie to her in any way. However, she couldn't exclude the option that someone was actually trying to find them. Maybe they had a whole family out there, missing them and desperately seeking clues about their well-being. "Even if they are not... Maybe it's for you two to find out everything about them later." She cuddled her, pressing her lips against her forehead in a gentle kiss. "I will be here too. So if you need me and there will be no place for you to go, you know where to find me."

"Yeah..." Cress mumbled with a smile, her eyelids heavily closing and soon enough Ayu felt her calm breathing brushing against her neck.

"Sleep well. Sweet dreams, you two," Ayu whispered, closing her eyes. "I love you."

In times like this, the perfect ending to this night's chatters and heart-to-heart talks would be falling asleep. There was nothing cozier than a warm and welcomed presence, when people she cared about were safe, sleeping soundly by her side. The thorn in her heart was quiet, covered by a thick layer of love and affection, and Ayu did not feel that lonely anymore... Yeah, that would be just perfect.

Against her wishes, this perfection didn't take place. As she was falling asleep, the words she spoke to the children, all that she heard from Cress and Celric resonated back inside her head. The fight against restlessness and sleepiness was an uneven battle, to say the least, and Ayu found herself lying with open eyes, her gaze unconsciously following the stars she made on the ceiling. Why she couldn't just fall asleep... What was keeping her awake? She helped Celric realize that Terra wasn't to blame for what her mum did... So was it hypocrisy that she still thought she was at fault when it came to Liari's deeds? No, this was different. It was about her not being able to protect what was dear to her. She once told Liari that everyone had to pay the consequences of their actions - and it seemed that Ayu was paying back a hefty loan.

She had to make sure no one else would get involved in that.

To be fair, Ayu started to think that she should stop getting involved with others. Unintentionally she kept causing harm. Just... How? How could she keep her distance when the two children were holding onto her in their sleep so dearly? Pushing them away could hurt them obviously, and she would never harm them... Though maybe the voice in the back of her head was right. Maybe loving them was a bad idea. Ayu felt tears swelling under her eyelids when she shut her eyes. Why couldn't she just bear with this lonely feeling... Why was she even able to feel everything so deeply and strongly? They won't ever be free if they are attached to her. Celric and Cress were already seeing her as a guardian, and then, they could start having expectations. Normal, usual things that are common in relations like that - though Ayu kept failing those lately. They would know that someone is on the Lookout, caring, worrying, waiting for them... They would be held back. They could be distracted from their goals. They wouldn't be able to use their full potential out of worry that it might have caused her concern about them. They would be tied down by feelings she felt for them. Genuine, honest, and well-meaning, they could undoubtedly turn into a rope preventing them from being their best.

The same thing applied to others. Her friends, companions, family... The more she cared, the more she was burdening them with her feelings.

That night Ayu was soundlessly swallowing her bitter tears, lying awake with aching, heavy heart.

When the dawn came, painting the walls of the room with rose-colored blush, the stars on the ceiling faded away. Ayu had to delicately untangle all the arms and blankets wrapped around her and quietly tucked Cress and Celric back. It was too early to wake them up... Looking at them with love and somber, Ayu finally shook her head, left their room, and quietly walked back to her chamber.

The future was going to be unpredictable.

She needed to be ready. Despite everything, she didn't have the heart to outright push anyone away. Instead, doubling her resolve, Ayu threw herself into the Pendulum Room. Not once, not twice had she freaked out Mr. Popo with her state after leaving the clock chamber - smiling and waving that it was alright, she was going to be healed in an hour or so. She kept saying that it was a necessity. She had to be ready for tomorrow more than she was prepared for today. Ayu still was cooking, playing with kids, talking with them at night when she had the chance... Not abandoning her duties as Junior Guardian, she never slacked nor took a break. As if, with a moment of spare time, her resolve could grow cold... Though most of her time she was closing herself away, training, training, and once again, training.

Her heart was weak. Too weak. There were days she wished she could meet someone, talk to them... Then she would scold herself for thinking that. This wasn't going to help.

And then, one day, when this sinister presence grew stronger... Ayu felt the worst type of terror she had ever displeasure of sensing. One that was shaking her whole being - Arctic was his name. The Ki she felt rapidly growing was closer and more powerful than before - and just like that, Namek was no more. The planet was reduced to nothing more than a handful of dust levitating through space. The threat was getting more material and destructive with each passing day and it was clear that Earth could meet the same fate. Everything was at stake and nothing was certain. That was their reality.

Then Callion's voice resonated through her mind, warning the world about incoming, ambitious Changeling that decided to make the universe his personal playground. Ayu felt her heart skip a beat and she was relieved to know that Saiyan was safely back on Earth. The news he brought was dire, though she was glad that at least he made it back to the blue planet in one piece. Yet, that was the first and the last thing she heard from Callion since he returned.

The change was clear. From the edge of the Lookout, Ayu was able to see Earth's warriors preparing for the inevitable. Among them were people she loved and cared about deeply, and those she didn't quite get along with. Seeing them gathering, training, and struggling together, doing their best to do what was needed to face an incoming crisis, well... She was proud and she was doing her best to focus on that feeling, ignoring this hurtful, abstract sensation growing in her chest. Why should she worry like that - because they were endangering themselves? It's not like she was of any help. What she was even getting sad about, it was for the best and every warrior was aware of the universe's situation... They should stay away from her. She would only burden them with her stupid, redundant feelings that were nothing but a nuisance. Folding her hands into fists, Ayu closed her eyes. A mere loneliness of one person was nothing compared to an approaching threat. No one has time for this silliness and she would rather not see them getting distracted, just because she was worrying. That would be pathetic, right..? She couldn't allow that. They had better things to do, and she'd hated to think that she'd be someone's reason for skipping training. Better... Yeah, it would do everyone better if she was going to just quietly stay here, in the temple. Away.

So why those pitiful tears were falling down her face?

It was the only reasonable thing Ayu could do.

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Power Level - 318,222
Word Count - 10,100