Ever since Ayu got back from Hell, she decided to change the dictionary definition of the bookworm and she wasn't going to rest until her picture would be glued under said entry.

The way back from the underworld was a blur. She didn't want to leave Liari alone in that wretched place, there was no way she could do that - but she was still alive. Her body was in pain after reaching certain limits. It wasn't a place for the living and the whole underworld was starting to reject her like an organism fighting against a virus. Damned spirits and demons after here were only growing in numbers and... And there was no way she could endanger Bluebell like that. She had enough on her plate already, staying in hell with her guilt and fighting for survival - she couldn't add to that another pile of demons who just were bored. And she couldn't find a way to bring Liari back from Hell. No. She needed information. They needed to work together, Liari from the inside and Ayu from the outside. Books, people, prophecies, scrolls, everything could hold a clue that could turn the situation in their favor.

How Zerori found Ayu and took her through the gate back to the living world, she couldn't quite remember. Her thoughts were all over the place, motivation boiling her blood. She needed answers. It was like a scene change in a movie, one second she was talking with Liari in hell, and a heartbeat later she was dusting her clothes on the Lookout.

Calot did an amazing job looking after the kids and Ayu couldn't be more grateful for his help. Although he murmured something about not being fit for a babysitter, the trio seemed content with his presence... And off he was to train on his own, freed from his sitting duties. Dende and Mr. Popo welcomed her warmly, as did the little ones. Ayu smiled, kissed, and hugged them all, telling them how much she missed them and that she was back home. And that she was going to get incredibly busy from now on.

A moment after that she took off her worn-out travel cape and marched right into the libraries hidden inside the Lookout.

Elegant, marble structures on the top were only the tip of the iceberg. Under the floor, deep inside the half-sphere-shaped temple, were hidden rooms of mystical origins. Regular kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, sure - but dozens of libraries, storages, rooms closed shut with barriers and magic... Half of them were in that state even before Dende became Guardian and no one had any suspicions about what could be hidden inside. A mystery after mystery. Forbidden knowledge, perhaps, dangerous magic, damned wisdom banned from the face of the Universe... That sounded like something Ayu required right now. And something that Liari desperately needed even more, to get out of Hell. So she could go back home.

What would Callion say if he'd heard that Ayu was working on bringing her sister, Bluebell, back? Would he condemn her choice... Or not? Knowing his stoic nature with proper explanation there be nothing against it - but Ayu did not need his approval. That was her choice to make and her consequences. And yet... For just a brief second the faces of warriors uniting to defeat raging Majin came to her mind. Bringing back the force that caused so much pain would be a betrayal in their eyes. Still, the silhouette of thin, worn-out little Liari was burned under her eyelids. She didn't believe it to be her fault. All the desires of her nature - by absorbing other people and their personalities - made her do it. People don't blame rain for the flood. They don't blame wolves for killing their herd, acknowledging the danger of a hungry predator. It was nature, a cycle of life and death, of understanding how the lines of fate cross and tangle. Weird... Something similar was going through her head when she was observing the world from the edge of the Lookout. Denying one their nature wasn't something she was capable of... So why do people hate those whose nature opposes their own? As intelligent races, they expect one to make a choice, to adapt, to learn. To coexist. To mark the lines of their freedom so that won't bring any harm to others... No, that wasn't right. Of course, it was idealistic and a beautiful thought of living in harmony and mutual understanding and respect. Something Ayu dearly wished so.

Yet life wasn't all that. It was actions and consequences.

Opening the door to the library Ayu lit the candles and climbed the ladder, reading the titles of the tomes bigger than her. She required knowledge of every kind to push that idea through. She didn't need to eat, or drink, sleep was for the weak - as they say. She desired answers. The pile of books was growing as she picked everything that could hold even the faintest clue to solve her case. Thus began the period when Ayu couldn't tell day from night, morning from evening. Tome after tome, chapter after chapter, she was burying her face in old parchment papers, soaking in the scent of old wisdom, praying that they would grant her what she needed. How to bring someone back to life. How to resurrect the dead.

There were many ways she tried to get a clue. The process couldn't be so easy and she had to question everyone she could think about it. Dende and Mr. Popo didn't know as much, yet they pointed her towards Dragonballs. Ayu could faintly recall Guardian's assistant saying something about holy spheres scattered around the Earth, long ago, when she was still living on her own in a small house by the forest. They could grant any wish so bringing dead back to life wouldn't be so hard. They could restore destroyed cities, help people, do all sorts of good deeds... A perfect tool for making life easier for everyone. There was just one problem. Dragonballs were out there, on the planet, but looking for seven small orbs was a tiresome and impossible quest. Even with Far Seeing Arts scanning through Earth with only her eyes would take years if not decades. Dende mentioned something about Dragon Radar, an item that was used before to localize Dragonballs, and in his words, it was somewhere here in the Lookout. A relic from old, different times... Ayu took two whole weeks digging through every nook and cranny but Dragon Radar was nowhere to be found and it wasn't something to be so easily made with magic. So that plan was marked as something that wouldn't work... She needed something else.

How about asking people who came back from death themselves? Callion knew a thing or two, yet he didn't give her any details, being as cryptic and stoic as ever. And, well, he was too far away to ask, having left this side of the universe to train. And besides... Ayu wasn't sure it was a good idea to speak to him. Her heart felt funny and heavy every time she thought about him... Although thinking about Callion filled her with warmth, at the same time a subtle anguish was piercing through her chest. Was he safe? Was he taking care of himself? Was he... Maybe... Thinking about those who were staying on the Lookout, even a little..? It was pointless to ponder about it, but she caught herself hoping for that more than once. And why each time she had this growing feeling in her chest, she couldn't help but feel... Like she was being selfish? That wasn't good. Ayu might have started growing egocentric and she didn't want it to turn that way. It would be better to not have any expectations. Who was she to burden others with silly anticipations... When she was the one who was constantly disappointing everyone else?

No, no. She did her best to push those emotions into a shady and forgotten corner of her heart, focusing solely on digging through books. Dark circles appeared under her eyes, thin, red blood vessels cracked around the golden irises, dry and tired. Ayu was still studying, not aware of sunken eyes and the tired look growing on her face. The scratching of pen on paper and the rustle of old pages were filling her days. Unusually her skin paled, turning more into a pastel, green-grey shade from the lack of sunlight as Ayu was rarely leaving the library. Noting every little clue, she was on track of something... So she couldn't afford to stop now. Several books mentioned gathering something different than Dragonballs. Crystals? Might be so, but Ayu was in the middle of deciphering that information. And some kind of energy? She didn't understand much but she was going to.

Celric and Cress were brought to the world of the living too, but Ayu had no heart to ask them about it. They were kids. Murdered so viciously and then brought back by an unknown force. Where they were in the underworld..? Anyway, they didn't know any better how or why that happened and she didn't dare try to wake up their demons. Some things were better left untouched.

Right. In this situation there was only one conclusion - she had to try harder. Ayu tied her braid back and threw herself into her research. Ressurection, ressurection. Who would have thought that she'd be the one trying to learn this forbidden art? She was the type of person who spent her day contemplating the cycle of life and death, watching nature's way of things in her spare time. Wasn't bringing a dead one back to life a crime against natural order..? She didn't mind becoming a criminal then. Heh, how the tables have turned. Days were blending into one, long, monotone mass. She used to write and read as long as she was able, only to pass out from exhaustion with her cheek on the open book. Usually, Ayu would wake up after an hour or two, with a warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a tray full of food next to her. Munching on a sandwich or a cookie, she would rub her eyes, continuing her studies where she left them. Quick shower now and then, some more notes, another book, rinse and repeat.

Was it a hope of redemption that was fueling her? With each page turned Ayu felt the growing suspicion inside her. She simply couldn't leave Liari alone in hell, she wanted her little sister back, and she wanted Terra to reunite with her mother. That was it. Despite everything that happened, she loved Bluebell dearly and wished for her safety and happiness. So she believed but the more she was reading mystical scrolls, the more her mind started to go astray. What... If that wasn't her intention at all? Her hands trembled, and the pen cracked leaving ink spilled on the half-written page from a notebook. What if unintentionally it was her way of redeeming herself in her own eyes, not in Liari's? What if she was doing everything for her own sake, so her conscience would stop hurting and remind her of past mistakes? What if, even if she failed, she could have said that she tried so hard, that even without results she'd be absolved - because of all the trials and tribulations here? What if she was so selfish deep down to believe that? What if-

What if keeps being a burden?

She tried to bury that small voice in the back of her head, focusing too hard on work. So lost was she in this madness that Ayu barely paid attention to what was happening on Earth. Dende and Mr. Popo weren't trying to stop her but she could feel their gazes on her back. They weren't disappointed, though maybe they should have been... It's not that Ayu abandoned her duties, she was in a way, coping. She tried to redeem the guilt eating her from inside but there was internal conflict inside her stirring. Was it a good thing or bad? She wasn't even that great of a person... Ayu's frame was slowly getting thinner, tiredness she had to fight was growing with each passing day. Dry eyes were painstakingly reading tiny handwriting explaining the nature of magic spells. Hours melted into days, days into the weeks. Others were concerned about her, but kids understood that Auntie was busy - the burning desire was lighting her way. She badly wanted to save Liari and she was going to do it. This time, for sure. After all this time, she'd take care of something she should have finished long ago.

When she wasn't devouring books and magic scrolls, Ayu was opening the sealed doors in the Lookout - with various outcomes. Because who knows what was behind them? The first gate, after the magic barrier was dealt with started shooting lighting and it took them hours to fix the damage. In the empty room behind the thundering door, they found magical items capable of controlling the weather but at this moment nothing of them was needed. Interesting and useful in general, just not right now. It wasn't what Ayu was looking for. Contrary to this tiring task, the other sealed spot was firing glass marbles and after taking care of that, kids spent days playing with colorful balls. It was a major cleaning time, when Ayu was going through one room to another, dealing with magic and securities to check if anything useful could be found. And by useful, she meant that she needed only one thing. Iron Fan? No, that won't cut it. Crystal ball with fish inside? How did it even end up here in the Lookout... What about the hammock and waffle maker too?

Things were just confusing at times, but the results were far from her reach. So after treasure hunting in the innards of the Lookout, Ayu was right back in the library, sitting in the same spot. The piles of read books were only getting bigger and ironically, the number of unread scrolls and tomes wasn't that small either.

Magic was the one thing that was able to defy all logic and reason. To resurrect Liari, she'd first have to bring her back, both body and soul and breathe life again into every cell of her organism. Majin's biology wasn't something Ayu was familiar with - her knowledge was limited by what she saw and understood by observing all the Majin she met so far. It wasn't the right moment to play Frankenstein either. Should she ask Moire for help? If she was willing to answer all the questions she had about Majin's nature for her, that could prove helpful. But the soul wasn't like simple vapor either, that could be transported from one plane of existence to another. Mumbling to herself, Ayu wrote down another theory and picked a different book.

It felt like she wasn't making progress but progress wasn't linear. One time she found lots of helpful paragraphs, the other time there was no clue for a couple of days. Once frustration was emerging through her composure, Ayu did her best to shove it right back at the end of her mind. She couldn't be distracted. She couldn't stray, she had something to do and she would bring Liari back if it was the last thing in her life. Yet... Time wasn't on her side. It made her wonder when it would all end. When she'd be able to embrace Liari once more..?

Things ended way quicker than she could have expected.

That fateful day Ayu was woken up from her nap with a violent, cheekily strong presence. A familiar and yet so odd sensation - that made her jump in place, spilling ink all over the parchment on the table. It didn't matter, she thought as she was bolting through the corridor, her body suddenly energized by hope and joy. It didn't matter, she smiled as she ran out of the temple and stopped by the edge, looking at the horizon. Searching through the woods, she could stop a little, happy laugh, wanting to see for herself her little sister. She knew that, who else other than her could escape death like that? And by herself, Ayu was so proud, so glad, her heart felt so warm...

Liari was back. It didn't matter in what form she was as long she was healthy. She was back and alive and... Something felt very wrong and made Ayu's excitement disappear, running out from her lungs like air from a punctured balloon. Tears full of relief stopped gathering before they could even run down her face. There she was. She saw a blue silhouette with her pink daughter, Terra, playing in the woods and it couldn't be a more heartfelt moment if not... If it wasn't for the feeling she got when she noticed Liari's small glance towards Lookout and Ayu's signature. She was ready to wave at her, but she couldn't move.

That look was full of spite and grudge. Irked, unpleasant sensation that made Ayu open her mouth and close them again. Liari's open resentment, which she felt even from that distance, shot Ayu straight through the heart.

Slowly, a sad smile appeared on her face as she turned around. She has disappointed someone yet again, Ayu lowered her head. Maybe it was because she couldn't free her from Hell right away. Or perhaps because blindly looking for a way to help Liari, she took too long. Maybe even the feelings from the previous fight at the South City emerged again, like the talk and embraces they shared at the bottom of Hell never happened. Maybe... There were a dozen of those maybe but none could explain this animosity she felt from Bluebell. And Ayu knew she could have gone to her in this moment, talk, explain - yet she couldn't. The tiredness of pushing herself for so long started to sink in and her legs were shaking with every careful step. She didn't want to turn into a sobbing mess again, she had no right to show herself in that state to anyone. Ayu wasn't going to allow her own feelings to burden anyone else. Never again.

As she was about to walk down the stairs, she crossed paths with Mr. Popo.

"Liari is back," he said with a low, cautious tone. "Terra was out exploring and I think she's going to stay with her for a while. I talked with De-"

"I know," Ayu interrupted him with a hollow voice, a small smile curling in the corner of her lips. She glanced in the direction where she sensed a mother-daughter duo. "I wish them the best," she said softly, with a voice so tender it was melting away with all the feelings she couldn't convey properly right now.

When she was walking through the corridors, she didn't even look towards the library. Ayu slowly made her way toward her chamber, her body shutting down, overwhelmed by shock and guilt. Exhaustion was biting at every bone and muscle and yet the screams of her body were nothing compared to the swirling black mass inside her head. Throwing herself at the bed, she hid her face in the pillow, unable to move an inch. For once, she wished for her mind to go blank. To not feel anything, nothing at all... Those emotions were only getting in the way of others. They were only a burden she was putting on those close to her by simply feeling, caring, and loving. And that was useless. Doesn't matter how much she cared and loved, she couldn't bring them comfort, relief, or strength. When did Ayu become such a hindrance?

Right there she learned the taste of something new. Something other than self-loathing.

Such a bitter and nauseating emotion.

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Power Level - 315,587
Word Count - 3,326